Hello from Aberdeen

Hey hon, what we like eh?

Shame we didn't live closer, at least we could hang out and look out for each other and feel down together, that'd be cool!

No news today, dinging down here, time of month still killing me, doubled over earlier when mam visited, just awful, feel pants.

gonna have a lay down on sofa and chill this pm and maybe watch a dvd, nae sure, but too yucky outside to want to even think about venturing out.

Hope ur having a kewlio week!

We are indeed a right pair!

Would be good if we lived closer. I'm sure we could spend hours just moaning about the state of us and the world together!

I'm feeling a bit off but not unusual at this time of the month. So you doubled up when your mam visited, and my gammy leg, the one that DOESN'T usually play up, decided to give way in Asda the other day and make me fall! We are having such a great time right now!

Chillin tonight seems like a good plan. I've found that Big Momma's Houyse is on tonight, love that film! Don't much fancy Babel, that's on at the back of it... i also discovered chilli in the freezer that I forgot I bought last week in the freezer, so even though I can barely keep my eyes open, at least I've got chilli! So life, currently, is good!

Fit likie on this lovely Wednesday?

Am peeved today, big time. Don't seem to get any bloody peace, and it's bugging me. My dad is great, but he calls about 20 times a day cos hes bored! His g-friend works (shes 20+ yrs younger than him) so, as hes retired, he has not much to do during the day, but I DO and wish he'd stop hassling me, it's the same thing each day.

Then, he calls asking the usual bumff. Steve comes home for lunch, he goes, I jump in shower, phone rings, I leave it, I am mid getting dressed, door bell goes, dogs go mental, it's my dad, erm, hello, if I don't answer the bloody phone, it's cos I can't!

God, I detest people just turning up at my door and he does it all the time and then takes a shitty tone with me if I say something, it's driving me mental. Poor Steve just got it both barrels in the lug from me, I'm so stressed and then I feel bad for being honest, why is that!?!?!?

Anyhow, deep breaths, gonna lay down and read my magazines and flick throo channels and chill out, god, how I wish I could just have 24 hours MYSELF, no family, hubby, dogs, friends, just me me me to do what I want, when I want it!

Moan over!!!

I'm no bad just now. Just suffering with the usual monthly symptoms!

We all need a good rant from time to time. People in our position especially tend to need time to ourselves a bit more than most. We just seem to get fed up with the world and its good intentions that it easier. I've had a few days like that lately, even though my dad's the opposite of yours. Hates talking on the phone so he never calls! I go round and see him instead! He could use a girlfriend of his own though. It's time he allowed himself to move on. Bless him.

As for feeling bad when you've been honest, some folks just can't cope with honest people, found that one out often enough myself! So I feel bad for being honest a lot myself.

I hope your magazines and telly managed to soothe you though. This is where I play computer games. Passive aggressive violence!

Happy to say it's Friday and I feel a tad better than I did earlier in the week

I totally agree, that we do need a bit more time to ourselves than others realise, just wish my family wouldn't take it so personally. We are watching every penny just now and mum wants to go into town or shopping today and I really don't want to. Am fed up doing stuff for a'body else and not for ME ME ME.....

Hey ho, that's family for ya.

NO gossip at all, glad it's Friday cos Steve be home at 3pm and then we are gonna have a chill weekend and potter around, grout bathroom floor and exciting things like that.

Have a gr8 weekend!

Gah. I've got no case for my ESA appeal. Apparently fibro is too variable to count as a disability!!

Eh, who said what and wot's going on????????????

Hey, do u want me to send u a voucher for a free haircut in Glasgow? I got a voucher for haircut and a family photo session, not realising the hair cut didn't have a salon in Aberdeen, DOH, so I can send to you if you like so you can use it?

Yeah sure! My hair's due some attention and I'm long overdue seeing certain people out that way! I'll PM you my addy.

Now for the goss on yesterday. The woman saw me, sat me down immediately and looked through my papers. She took a lot of time reading, and in the initial first few minutes of thinking it will all be ok, I'll get to explain why the appeal papers make me look bad and find out what I can do about that. How wrong was I. So reading through them, me watching, she finally looks up and tells me the fact I've worked was really going to count against me! Ofc this upset me, though I didn't show that to her, because it was my understanding that this benefit was for people who could only work part time because of their disability. That's what it says on the DWP's own site. Then she said the fact that it was also in Glasgow made it a lot worse because it was so far away and I was an overnight carer meaning I arrived on a Monday morning, and left either on a Friday or Saturday, depending on whether the guy needed me an extra day or not. Then she asked what the original form I filled out asked. What kind of tasks I did for the guy. So I told her, house work, personal care, the general things that would be epected of a carer. That counts against me too because I proved my condition is not only not bad it means I CAN work (I never once said I couldnt). So basically I can see why they might think I'm putting it on because if I'm saying my capability for work is limited, yet I held a full time job at the time of claiming, it does look like I'm trying something dodgy. But having said that, I'm bloody angry that there is no room for error here, no room for change with the condition as is so frequent with ours. If they make an assumption about you based on taking things you've said very literally, that doesn't change, even if your health and situation has.


The second main point that was raised that counted against me was my absences. You know, those times where its like you're just put on hold and you stop, and you're aware of your surroundings but at the same time you're not? Now apparently when you fill the form in and get asked about stuff like that, in the form they mean only in relation to epilepsy. But that is in no way clear at all that they are only interested in hearing about epilepsy. It just said if you get any symptoms like these at all! So of course I noted mine down. So the CAB woman said because I told them about that and don't have a diagnosis for epilepsy, it looks to them like I'm claiming I've got epilepsy when I haven't!! Again I can see the point, but again, they need to make the forms a hell of a lot clearer - a lot of people are getting their money stopped for suspected benefit fraud when the only reasons there's descrepancies with the info they give is because the forms are so bloody confusing. I've never claimed I have epilepsy. My absences are totally related to the fibro, I only have thm when I'm feeling foggy, and that unfortunately right now is every day. And I've only ever had one seizure in my life and that wasn't epilepsy. I hadn't been well and my temperature was sky high and I was at work, in bed because I wasn't needed, and the house was hot, even though the guy never used his heating. So I guess my body couldn't take it and flipped out.

Anyway the long and short of it was that I've got no chance of winning this appeal becaue I have a variable condition. The only way I will win this appeal she said is if the panel doctor has fibro and is sympathetic. Apparently ESA does not cover people who are able to do anything for themselves. According to her you have to be a vegetable basically to get ESA. Which just doesn't ring true - ESA is for people who can only work part time due to a disability. It says so on the govts own site!

So right now I dunno what to do. I've been hellishly stressed over this appeal so far, something Dr Jones really feared, yet at the same time I dont want to give up, but then I feel that might only be because some people in my life would accuse me of being defeatist. But when you've been told your condition means nothing because it varies from day to day and you've got no chance of winning because of that, is it really defeatist to pull yourself away from all that stress and just drop the appeal? What is the point in fighting if you know you're in a lose lose situation anyway? It looks so bad for me CAB won't even represent me this time. Last time I went through this I didn't have my diagnosis. I didn't even have a permanent address. But I went to CAB anyway and they went through the points system back then, and even then I scored a borderline pass. I lost that appeal sure but I accepted it because I had no backup then, just literally my word. This time I've got all the back up I could ever ask for and it's still not good enough. Besides that, all she did was ask me the questions I got asked on the original form, compare what I wrote to what they said and explain to me why they made the decision they did. I wanted to go along and find out how I could fight against them putting in a load of bull in the papers that weren't even said to them. Half those questions I never got asked at the medical for God's sake! I'm absolutely fuming, but I was so upset yesterday. All this stress, all this grief I've put myself through hasn't been worth anything simply because my comdition varies. I swear if that appointment had gone on just a second more yesterday I would have cried. I strugglied to keep it in as it was.

I got a letter from the jobcentre this morning - they still expect me to go to a pathways to work interview and get treated like unemployed sponging scum! I'll go because I receive the money at assessment rate til either my appeal is heard or I call up and get the money stopped becuase I'm dropping my appeal. But she'll be getting told in no uncertain terms there is no way in merry hell she's signing me up for JSA, and exactly what I have been doing to find work. And if they try and pressure me into doing anything I don't want to do or can't do they'll be getting told to stop my claim right there and then. I really do not need this shit. I've fought for most of my teenage and adult life to get this diagnosis only to be told so what? You're fine get on with it!

I swear I'm going to explode over this hon.

Hi T hope things are a bit better today (hello aberdeen) i have some info regards applying for dla and incap benifit will pass it to you if if helps any
Vinny in wet dungannon

hi vinny. Feeling a little better today.

Already applied for DLA about three possibly four months ago now, still heard nothing back. But the incapacity info might be good, as I recall she did say my case would have been a lot stronger if it had been Incapacity I was on. But my understanding was that Incapacity was now part of ESA, so I'm really confused. :S

me to (confused and alreadly applied) whish i had this before i applied in JULY lol
will forward via email what i have if its anygood to you brill if not it might be for someone else.

vinny

Ok cool. I'm really confused with it all. Gone from being sure I had the right to ESA to feeling like a benefit fraud cos none of my condition seems to fit their requirements!